There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.
Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
The old woman comes to a gynecologist. He inspects her and says with the surprice: An old woman, you're pregnant! How did you managed at your age...? Oh, those teens. They always asks to tell them everything, then show and give to try...
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac? DON'T keep taking the tablets!