What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
Out for the count!
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
Saliva.
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar.
‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’
‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’
Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
Vote:
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
Vote:
how come blondes don't wear tampons?
so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.