Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
What can save a dying blonde?
Hair transplants.
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
Scientists have located the gene for alcoholism.
They found it at a party, talking way too loudly.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs.
One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional.
The second guy says, ''I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.''
They asked the woman, ''What are you?''
She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC.''
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street.
Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!"
(splash)
"WHERE?"
(splash)
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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