A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
How is a blond with makeup called? Simpleminded picture.
What do you call an alcoholic dog? A whino!
The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
Hey babe, let's play football! You can have first down. High five!