"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested.
"Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?"
"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer.
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
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Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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Q: Why are white people called crackers.
A: Because they use to crack that whip on those niggers.
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Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
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‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’
Fred Allen
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me.
Look how time files!
We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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