Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece?
A: He Married Her
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How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Mam, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"?
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!!
I almost had an accident!
I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me.
I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me.
I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
Men are like buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
"Darling."