When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence?
Answer: Divorced.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
Yo mama so fat, her ID pic had to be taken in panoramic mode.
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Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
Q: Whats the most worthless thing on a woman's body?
A: A Mexican.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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