A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous. But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin. Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her. "I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied. To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away. When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go. "Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
"Where does the Colonel keep his armies?" "Up his sleevies!"
Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams