A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.
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Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette.
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again.
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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