A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I dont, Ive been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, Ive been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. Basketball
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words: The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
Why do the blondes spill water over the computer? They want to navigate over the internet.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.