Best jokes ever

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first? The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, wife
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: IT
A bear walks into a pub, and takes a huge bite out of the bar. ‘Get out!’ shouts the barman. ‘We don’t serve druggies.’ ‘But I’m not a druggie,’ replies the puzzled bear. ‘Yeah? Then what about the bar bit you ate?’
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: sport
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: sport
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
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has 18.49 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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has 18.44 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, disgusting, navy
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut. The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence. ‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor. ‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague. ‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
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has 18.40 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids
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