How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek?
One.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
I've recently got a stalker.
He's everywhere all the time.
And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me.
So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.
A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.