Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.
A very short painter walks into a Parisian bar and offers to buy his friend a drink. His friend, rushing out of the door, shouts, ‘Can’t stop now, no time Toulouse.’
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Q: Why are white people called crackers. A: Because they use to crack that whip on those niggers.
Q: What's the difference between a working white man and a working black man? A: The White man is working legally.
Q: Do you really want to know why white people are Prejudice, and racist towards black folks? A: Simply because when they go tan their skin at the beach it burn like bleach.
Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."