Best jokes ever

Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
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has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: school
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A dazzling woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy. Are you the manager? she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, No”, he replies. Can you get him for me I need to speak to him. She is running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. I’m afraid that I can’t, breathes the barman, clearly aroused. Is there anything I can do? “Yes, there is”. I need you to give him a message, she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. “Tell him that there is no Toilet Paper in the ladies room.”
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
The boxer fells down in the fourth round. The referee starts counting. Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams: Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up! I know him from the buss...
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded. The couch says to him: You should better take a decision! You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
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