What kind of rocks do young geologists play with?
Marbles.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
What can save a dying blonde?
Hair transplants.
Scientists have located the gene for alcoholism.
They found it at a party, talking way too loudly.
Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
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The Captain called the Sergeant in.
"Sarge, I just got a telegram that Smith's mother died yesterday.
Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
"Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson report to Personnel to sign some papers.
The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance.
Oh by the way, Smith, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office.
"Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Smith his mother died.
Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that James mother died.
You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me.
This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation.
"Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward."
"Not so fast, James!"
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
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