The Captain called the Sergeant in.
"Sarge, I just got a telegram that Smith's mother died yesterday.
Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
"Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson report to Personnel to sign some papers.
The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance.
Oh by the way, Smith, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office.
"Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Smith his mother died.
Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that James mother died.
You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me.
This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation.
"Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward."
"Not so fast, James!"
Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!
I got really love sick the other day working away from home.
Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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