Best jokes ever

What's gray and powdery? Instant Elephant.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs. One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional. The second guy says, ''I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.'' They asked the woman, ''What are you?'' She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC.''
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: bar, sport, wife
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men
Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Want a taste of my hanging sausage?
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has 24.08 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
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has 24.08 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: death, fish, health, prison, terrorist
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
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has 24.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, Yo mama
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
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has 23.90 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: women
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you — please keep your photo and return the others.”
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has 23.90 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: military
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