Best jokes ever

What’s the difference between a nigger and a canoe? The canoe is floating!
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has 22.88 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: racist
Want a taste of my hanging sausage?
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has 22.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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has 22.76 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
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has 22.73 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, weather
For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 A.M. on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself." And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, time
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have, pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: IT
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