Yo mamma’s so big, when she gets outside the house people start screaming: “Freak!”
This is a visual joke.
Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have?
A palestinian waiting for the bus.
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Three holy men rode a plane home.
There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end.
Who should talk him out of it.
The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live.
In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant.
And a melted black box.
The holy men still live to tell the tale.
And so does the football.
Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman?
PC Plod.
A bear walks into a pub, and takes a huge bite out of the bar.
‘Get out!’ shouts the barman.
‘We don’t serve druggies.’
‘But I’m not a druggie,’ replies the puzzled bear.
‘Yeah?
Then what about the bar bit you ate?’
What about Where does a General keep his Armys?
In his sleevies!
(A) You are not Tom Cruise,
(B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
(C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
(D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
(E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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