Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy?
If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
How do you fit 54 Jews in a car?
2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
Vote:
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
A blond whines at her mother:
Mother, I’m impregnate!
What?
Where the hell was you’re head?
What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money.
The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.
When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door.
It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay.
A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn.
He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree.
Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them:
Who pulled out this tree from his root?
Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal?
A: The lynx.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.