Yo mama so damn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly ass bitch".
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breath!!!!
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
A blond whines at her mother:
Mother, I’m impregnate!
What?
Where the hell was you’re head?
What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money.
The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.
When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door.
It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay.
A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn.
He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
(A) You are not Tom Cruise,
(B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
(C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
(D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
(E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.
Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.
Who is little, black and jumps?
A flee!
But who’s big, black and jumps?
Dr. Alban!