How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
While giving a physical, a doctor notices that his patient’s shins are covered in dark, savage bruises. ‘Tell me,’ says the doctor. ‘Do you play hockey or soccer?’ ‘No,’ said the man. ‘But my wife and I play bridge.’
What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet? You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs. The real shame was that he had five older sisters.
Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams