What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Yo mama so damn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly ass bitch".
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
A blond whines at her mother: Mother, I’m impregnate! What? Where the hell was you’re head? What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer. When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.
What do bleached blondes and jumbo jets have in common? Black boxes.