What do bleached blondes and jumbo jets have in common?
Black boxes.
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay.
A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn.
He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
How do you fit 54 Jews in a car?
2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.
Yo mamma’s so big, when people see her they start screaming:
“That’s a huge bitch!”
Who is little, black and jumps?
A flee!
But who’s big, black and jumps?
Dr. Alban!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.
Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police.
The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man.
"Is there a fat bird in my car?"
The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed.
He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.”
She bolted upright,
pointed her finger and corrected him, “No.
I am surprised.
You are astonished.”