Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
The boxer fells down in the fourth round.
The referee starts counting.
Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams:
Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up!
I know him from the buss...
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving
What's a bee's favourite sport?
Rugbee.
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up.
Dragging a sock over it helps.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
Variety is the spice of life.
One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!