Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
A bear walks into a pub, and takes a huge bite out of the bar. ‘Get out!’ shouts the barman. ‘We don’t serve druggies.’ ‘But I’m not a druggie,’ replies the puzzled bear. ‘Yeah? Then what about the bar bit you ate?’
What about Where does a General keep his Armys? In his sleevies!
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks: Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it: Please open the door, police...
How do blondes pierce their ears? They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
What’s the difference between a nigger and a white man? As much as you see with your eyes!