John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Roses are red "just like blood"
Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo"
So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out
And shows me 1 thing your shit.
Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?
A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
Vote:
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
What’s a black spot between two white spots?
A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
Yo momma is so stupid she had to use her car key to open the front door just to get in.