Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.