Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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