Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.