Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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In Radiant Spirits, Solari's body temprature is 120 degrees.
Chuck Norris's body temprature is about 151 degrees.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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