Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris fills a 1-Liter Bottle With 2 liters of water.
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world.
The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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