Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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