With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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