Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
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Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
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Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Figs
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
I'll be honest.
I did not graduate at the top of my class.
In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.