What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
What are the three rules for being a plumber? 1. Hot water is always on the left. 2. Shit doesn't flow uphill 3. Never chew your fingernails.
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.