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What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
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Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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What are the three rules for being a plumber? 1. Hot water is always on the left. 2. Shit doesn't flow uphill 3. Never chew your fingernails.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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