A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the salesman asks her: "You're single, aren't you?" A bit surprised woman smiles and answers: "That's right, but how did you guessed that?" "Because you're so ugly."
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass