Best jokes ever

A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q. What's the king of the pencil case? A. The ruler.
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has 59.77 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: school
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 59.76 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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has 59.76 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me? A: I'll be back.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad
Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: stupid, Yo mama
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