"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
Vote:
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Vote:
Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight?
A: They make up.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
Vote:
-How is Ruth?
-Not sure. I broke up with her last month.
-Oh no. You're so Ruthless.
-And how long have you been waiting to use that?
-I'd rather not say.
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor.
"Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."
The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"
She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card.
Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’
‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend.
‘You should report this thief to the police.’
‘I would,’ says the man.
‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’
Bob Hope