Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Vote:
Yo mamma so ugly when she was walking to the bank.
They turned of the security cameras.
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card.
Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’
‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend.
‘You should report this thief to the police.’
‘I would,’ says the man.
‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’
Bob Hope
Two drunks are sitting side by side in a bar.
One of the drunks goes to the bathroom but neglects to button up his fly when he’s finished.
He staggers back to the bar, sits on a bar stool, and his penis flops out on the bartop.
The other drunk yells, ‘Snake!’ and hits the penis with a bottle.
The first drunk shouts, ‘Hit it again!
It just bit me!’
Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.