Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?
A: Looking for the Root Canal!
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight?
A: They make up.
Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both wipe out klingons.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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