Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.