When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away. 
Vote:
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
Vote:
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge?
A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
Vote:
The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.
Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.
Vote: