The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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Your mama so fat she climbed up hill and fell back down.
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.