A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts. A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?" "Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.
COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”
Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them? To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.