Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.
Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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Why are there no mexicans on star trek?
They don't work in the future either.
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.