What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common?
Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
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Three policemen are sitting in a car.
Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already.
On thinks of an idea:
Guys, lets play golf.
All we need is a stick, ball and a hole.
I can arrange a stick, – one says.
I will get a ball, - adds another.
Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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What do dogs and women have in common?
They both like 12-inch bones.
Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"
"No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
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Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen?
Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop?
A: To let the lumber jack off.
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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