Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
Yo Mama so ugly, that when she entered a haunted house, she came out with an application.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.