If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician, "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says, "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says, "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says, "Well then I'll go at night."
Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? "Is it worth any bonus marks?"
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.