How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex?
She locks the car doors.
Hey guys.
Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
Thank me later.
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
No time for gym?
Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed.
They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride.
So shed went in the store.
Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long.
Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!"
Police officer was startled what he said.
Police said "where's your manners boy!".
Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.
What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.