Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
Yo mama so ugly when she tried to flirt her face went inside out.
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!