Yo' Mama is so poor, she considers the give-a-penny/take-a-penny cups part of her own "Save Yo' Mama" foundation.
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1