Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits feet.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one.
Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one?
I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low."
"Pick up bread. We be back."
Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
Yo Momma is so big the sun rotates around her.
”Hey grandma, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!”
”Screw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?”
Vote:
How does herpes leave the hospital?
On crotches.
Vote:
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed.
They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride.
So shed went in the store.
Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long.
Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!"
Police officer was startled what he said.
Police said "where's your manners boy!".
Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!