What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Yo Momma's house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
A: Caps and robbers
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.