What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, roaches check into her laundry basket, but they don't check out.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef.
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.