A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.