Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep."
Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
A man with a bad rash on his hands went to his doctor.
The latter examined his hands carefully for sometime and consulted many large volumes on his shelves.
Finally, he asked the patient: "Have you had this trouble before?"
He answered: "Yes."
Doctor said: "You have again got it."
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
Yo mama is so ugly the mirror did not make an reflection.
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.