Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me. 
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
Yo' Mama is so stanky, even the garbage man won't pick her up.
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.
What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.