What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff? A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Kid: "please could I go 2 the toilet" teacher: "say the alphabet" Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz" teacher: "where's the p?" kid: "running half way down my leg"
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.