Best jokes ever

These two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog across the streets licking its own nuts. First guy says "Man, sure wish I could do that." Second says "I dunno, I think I'd pet him first."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Your Mom is so skinny she has to wipe her ass with dental floss.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: god, life
Your momma is so ugly when she look in the mirror it shattered.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, money, time
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, fart, travel, Yo mama
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: business, death, time, travel
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