Best jokes ever

Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
Vote: has 59.49 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
Vote: has 59.49 % from 177 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food
I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
Vote: has 59.46 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
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More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: How do you piss off a white person? A: Call him a racist.
Vote: has 59.42 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, white people
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
Vote: has 59.41 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.
Vote: has 59.35 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, lesbian
Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. He asks her what it is. She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling. He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut, but I already licked out all the custard!
Vote: has 59.33 % from 163 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarrhea so he thought he was melting
Vote: has 59.33 % from 292 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 59.31 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, dirty