How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!
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Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Ramu: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
day time when we don't need it".
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ?
In both cases you really dont want to look down !
How do you get a Mexican chick to blow you?
You decorate your wiener with leaves.
Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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