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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
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Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
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What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
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A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
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A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "Youre under 18," replies the barman.
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More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
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