Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.
Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot. She says, "This one reminds me of my husband." The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?" "No that dirty."
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.