Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
Vote:
Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky way.
Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"
Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Vote:
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.
During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world.
I wish we could travel all over the world."
The fairy waved her wand and POOF!
She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she was born, her mama called her a treasure, so her daddy offered to bury her.
Your mama is so thin she stepped on a scale and a scale said no papers plz.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, Red Lobster kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.