Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies? It hurts to boil their nipples!
A man knocked on a door an a women answered and he asked if he could use her toilet. She said you have 3 chances, if you do 3 things wrong I`ll call the police. So he went to piss but on the flush chain there was a bra so he ripped it off. Then when he was walking down the stairs he saw her cat called Boobs on the step & he hates cats so he squezed it & then threw it up the stairs. He then went in the kitchen where the women was & the women said why did you throw my cat up the stairs? He said I don`t know. While she went to get it, on the table was a glass of milk which he then drank. When the women came back she said you had your 3 chances now I'm calling the Police. When the police came they asked her what the man had done. She said this man has ripped her bra off, squezed her Boobs and drank her milk.
Yo mama so ugly when she went outside it was a black out.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age." Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too." Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no...smallcox, too!"
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.