Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced."
The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces."
The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies,
"Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg?
You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother.
Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mousse.