There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced."
The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces."
The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
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A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies,
"Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot.
Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom.
Man says, "WTF?"
Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"
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