Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ?
In both cases you really dont want to look down !
Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Ramu: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
day time when we don't need it".
Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom.
Man says, "WTF?"
Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"
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