Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
Yo' mama so stupid, she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”