The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy f*ck we can't fix that.''
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them? To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. It included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone calls, and everything but lunch hours. Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services. Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list: FOR CROSSING THE STREET TO TALK TO YOU, THEN DISCOVERING IT WASN'T YOU AFTER ALL -- $125.