My wife asked if I would give it to her "doggy style."
So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes.
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries."
The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Why do cows like being told joke?
Because they like being amoosed.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?
A: Looking for the Root Canal!
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.