Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says.
"What? There's no such thing," she replied.
"No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'"
A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she comes out.
"Wow, that was great!" She says.
She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store.
On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo.
Well she's really enjoying herself.
The car is swerving and she rolls through a red.
She ends up getting pulled over by a cop.
After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story.
She explains about the magic dildo and the shop.
The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
What did God say when he made the first niggers?
Oops! Burnt another one!
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Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?
Doctor: I deal with you later.
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
You're so ugly, Yo' Mama had to be drunk to breastfeed you.