Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Why are black people & vending machines the same?
Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
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"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says.
"What? There's no such thing," she replied.
"No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'"
A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she comes out.
"Wow, that was great!" She says.
She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store.
On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo.
Well she's really enjoying herself.
The car is swerving and she rolls through a red.
She ends up getting pulled over by a cop.
After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story.
She explains about the magic dildo and the shop.
The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."