Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
Vote:
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says.
"What? There's no such thing," she replied.
"No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'"
A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she comes out.
"Wow, that was great!" She says.
She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store.
On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo.
Well she's really enjoying herself.
The car is swerving and she rolls through a red.
She ends up getting pulled over by a cop.
After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story.
She explains about the magic dildo and the shop.
The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
What did God say when he made the first niggers?
Oops! Burnt another one!
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Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
Lipstick.
Yo momma’s so fat, the weather people give names to her farts.