What did God say when he made the first niggers?
Oops! Burnt another one! 
Vote:
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
Lipstick.
Yo momma’s so fat, the weather people give names to her farts.
Yo momma’s so stupid, when she went to a movie and it said, ‘Under 17 not admitted’, she went home to find 16 relatives.
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered.
Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.