Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.
Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
A: No fee–If No Recovery!
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.