Best jokes ever

Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out? A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, science
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
A policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration. Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.” “Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, cop
Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, heaven, sport
What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom. Man says, "WTF?" Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"
Vote: has 54.30 % from 191 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, relationship
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her batteries die, she buries them.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama