Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Vote:
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
Vote:
Yo' mama so stupid, she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Vote:
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Vote:
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
Vote:
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny.
Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke.
A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish."
After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer."
The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared.
The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
Vote:
The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.
Vote: