Best jokes ever

My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex. I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
Vote: has 51.58 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Vote: has 51.56 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife
My husband said he wanted more space. So I locked him outside.
Vote: has 51.55 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 51.55 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Vote: has 51.55 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: Why do blacks walk the way they do? A: Because they spent the first 9 months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
Vote: has 51.54 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
Vote: has 51.53 % from 164 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, genie, marriage, wife
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Vote: has 51.48 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man" So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
Vote: has 51.48 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote: has 51.42 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women