Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups. They were really Chuck and Norris.
Man: "What you have prepared to eat today?" Wife: "Nothing." Man: "But you did nothing yesterday." Wife : "I made it for two days."
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Yo' Mama is like a campfire: everyone gets to stick their wiener in.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.