Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
How can you make a gay man scream twice?
Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Q.How do you catch a polar bear?
A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID.. it is gmail@chucknorris.com
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A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me.
I know we’ve been friends a long time, but I just can’t think of your name.
I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
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There was a burning building with a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde at the top.
The firemen are yelling to the redhead to jump into a blanket and she jumps off the building and right as she was about to safely hit the blanket they moved it and she dies.
They yell to the brunette to jump but she says,"No I saw what you did to the redhead"!
They shout we don't like redheads!
So the brunette jumps and sure enough they move the blanket and she dies.
Then they shout to the blonde to jump off into the blanket.
But the blonde says,"no I saw what you did to them"!
They shout we don't like them! The blonde then says, "I don't trust you guys, put the blanket on the ground and step back!"