Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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