Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across?
A: A double dirty crosser.
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong?
Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Yo mama so fat even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.