Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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What's a teddy bears favourite pasta?
Tagliateddy.
Yo mama is so stupid that she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh?
A: Essense of humor.
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
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A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
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There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery.
They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people:
"who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!"
Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt.
Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground.
Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?"
The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...