Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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