Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.