Best jokes ever

A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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has 51.58 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food, morbid
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Q: Two men are in a car. One of them is a Mexican while the other is black. Who is driving the car? A: The cops.
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, mexican, racist
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, school, student, weather
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies.
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: military
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