Best jokes ever

A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
Vote:
has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Vote:
has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Vote:
has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, school, student, weather
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Vote:
has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: school
A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around. As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?" She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."
Vote:
has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Vote:
has 51.55 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
Vote:
has 51.54 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
Vote:
has 51.54 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Vote:
has 51.49 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
Vote:
has 51.47 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: marriage
<<<873874875876
More jokes →
Page 873 of 1427.