Best jokes ever

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: school
A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around. As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?" She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."
has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
has 51.55 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, flirt
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
has 51.54 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
has 51.54 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
has 51.52 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: gay
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
has 51.49 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
has 51.47 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
has 51.45 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
More jokes →
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