Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
Yo' Mama is so bald, her cornrows look like stitches.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!