If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.