Patrick left the pub after having too much to drink. He was taking the underground home. As he started to get on the escalator, he read the sign: ‘Dogs must be carried on the escalator.’ He shouted, ‘Now where I am to find a dog after midnight?’
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole? A: Divorced.
Your momma so fat... All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Your Momma"
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato? A: "You better catch up!"