Best jokes ever

If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
Vote: has 51.01 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

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There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
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‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
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More jokes about: sex
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
Vote: has 51.00 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Vote: has 51.00 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
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More jokes about: sex
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
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More jokes about: sex
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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More jokes about: women