Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
Yo mama is so dumb she makes u look like a genius.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
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A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Q: Where does a general keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies.
Which way did the programmer go?
He went data way!
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.