Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Chuck Norris once made a crippled man run away.
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Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
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Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
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A policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.
Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”
“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it.
While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.
Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up.
A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”
Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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