Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Hot Shot Rookie A rookie patrol officer stopped a car for speeding.
The driver asked, "Gee officer can't you just give me a warning"?
The officer said,"Sure".
He stepped back, drew his .357 magnum and fired a shot across the hood of the car.
"Anything else?" said the rookie.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff?
A waste.
You could've fit two more in the trunk.
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A young couple get between the sheets for the first time.
In a flash it’s over.
The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’
His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Q: What are a couple of gay Mexicans called?
A: Juan on Juan.
Whats the only thing darker than a black man?
His Future.