A doctor and a lawyer are involved in a car crash. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor is a little shaken up, offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, has a drink and hands back the flask. The lawyer puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you having one yourself?’ asks the doctor. ‘Sure,’ says the lawyer. ‘But I’ll wait till after the police leave.’
Chuck Norris is the reason Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws.
Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.