Best jokes ever

How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
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has 51.26 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: gay
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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has 51.18 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food, morbid
I would tell you a joke about my penis but it's too long.
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has 51.18 % from 67 votes. More jokes about:
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. ''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.'' ''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
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has 51.14 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: gay
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, husband, women
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, new year
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Yo Mama is so fat and ugly she and Godzilla are twins.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, school, stupid, teacher, Yo mama
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
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