When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
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They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
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Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris?
The only good news is you know when you will die.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it.
She was telling him what colour to paint each room.
They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue."
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?"
The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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