A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet.
‘This is two hundred pounds short,’ he says. ‘I know,’ says the employer.
‘But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.’
‘Well,’ says the worker.
‘I don’t mind an occasional mistake.
But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.’
I’ve been very depressed lately.
My wife’s threatened to leave me.
But even that hasn’t cheered me up.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island.
The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door.
‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead.
The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’
Yo momma’s so fat, her driver’s license says, ‘Picture continued on other side’.
Yo momma’s so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled, ‘Land Ho!’
Yo momma’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.
Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Vote:
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’