Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’
Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’
Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
Why are faggots so generous?
Because they don't know how to be tight arsed!
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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How can you make a gay man scream twice?
Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?
CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?
TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am.
You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.
CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?
TECH: You just need the modem in your computer.
That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.
CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?
TECH: I'm not sure I understand?
CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?"
"Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."