How do you get a nigga out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one. The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.
Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.