Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers? Prison Warden.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.