Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore.
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof!
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets for her flight.
Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants?
A: Dick-tator.
30 degrees...
It was so cold out today that even the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets.
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932.
The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel in an apple.
I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples.
I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents.
I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked.
“Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”