Yo momma’s so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled, ‘Land Ho!’
Yo momma’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.
Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Vote:
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money.
Two weeks ago she asked for £50.
Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’
Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know.
I never give her any.’
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
‘One thing about Jim,’ his buddy said to the bartender.
‘He knows when to stop.’
Where does an Irish family go on holiday?
A different bar.