Yo momma's so stupid when her son said break a leg, she really did.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Vote:
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
Vote:
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?
CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?
TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am.
You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.
CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?
TECH: You just need the modem in your computer.
That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.
CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?
TECH: I'm not sure I understand?
CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?"
"Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
A: "You better catch up!"
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo?
A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.