Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered.
She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.
The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly towards him.
Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand.
He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house!"
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
Vote:
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
Yo mama is so poor, rainbows in her neighborhood are black and white.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally useless and full of sh*t.
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
A: "You better catch up!"