Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money.
Two weeks ago she asked for £50.
Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’
Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know.
I never give her any.’
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
‘One thing about Jim,’ his buddy said to the bartender.
‘He knows when to stop.’
Where does an Irish family go on holiday?
A different bar.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Yo momma's so stupid when her son said break a leg, she really did.
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
Yo mama is so poor, rainbows in her neighborhood are black and white.
Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally useless and full of sh*t.
Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
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