Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.
Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first? Friend: I don't know, who? Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions.