Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues.
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.