Your mama's teeth are so messed up....i thought her tongue was in jail!
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning black man? A: The rest of his family.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear.
What is a buttress? A female goat.