Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed?
A: A undercover cop.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me.
I know we’ve been friends a long time, but I just can’t think of your name.
I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors.
The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol.
The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half.
They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story.
Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
What do u call a bunch of black buried up to their heads in dirt?
Afro turf.
A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp.
His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage.
Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?"
Boy: "Nouuu."
Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?"
Boy: "No, mum."
Mum: "So how did you get it?"
Boy: "I went to take some tea."
Do you know why your mother is called Egypt?
Because every time she shits she leaves a pyramid...
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Your mama's teeth are so messed up....i thought her tongue was in jail!