Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
A biker walks into a gay bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"? "What are you talking about" the biker replies. "You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fart the kicks well." The gay guy goes first to demonstrate. The biker states "I can do that and even better." He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
There is no such things as a tornado. Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.