Best jokes ever

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
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Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
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Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
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Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
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Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
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This guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the guy and says" Have you seen Eileen?" The guy is rather confused and asked " Eileen who?" The bartender relies, "I lean over and you kiss my butt." Well the man was offended by this and walks out the door and into the bar across the street. So he sits down and orders a beer. While he is drinking his beer he tells the bartender what the other bartender said to him. The bartender then told him," You know what you should do, you should go back over there and ask him if he has seen Ben and when he says Ben who you say I bend over and you kiss my butt. So the guy goes back across the street and asks the Bartender if he has seen Ben. And the Bartender said " Yep, He just went out the door with Eileen." The guy asks" Eileen who?
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More jokes about: alcohol