In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event.
Why was the lion-tamer fined?
He parked on a yellow lion.
A neutron walks into the hotel bar and asks "how much for a beer?"
The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class.
The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it.
So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.
"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."
"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
"It's running down my leg."
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?
He was outstanding in his field.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris froze hell.
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