Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
This guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the guy and says" Have you seen Eileen?"
The guy is rather confused and asked " Eileen who?"
The bartender relies, "I lean over and you kiss my butt."
Well the man was offended by this and walks out the door and into the bar across the street.
So he sits down and orders a beer.
While he is drinking his beer he tells the bartender what the other bartender said to him.
The bartender then told him," You know what you should do, you should go back over there and ask him if he has seen Ben and when he says Ben who you say I bend over and you kiss my butt.
So the guy goes back across the street and asks the Bartender if he has seen Ben.
And the Bartender said " Yep, He just went out the door with Eileen."
The guy asks" Eileen who?
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink.
His friends plead with him to let them take him home.
He says no -- he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area.
The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.
When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door.
They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes.
They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.
The police have his driver's license.
They ask to see his car and she asks why.
They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.