A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator. He walked away with a new set of luggage.
Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper? So she can lip read.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.