Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
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Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?
A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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Postcard from a blonde:
Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?
Lesbians can also take Viagra.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.
I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.
A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.
"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
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Yo mama so fat when she climbed into the attic she fell into the basement.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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